The B Files

News for December, 2005

2005-12-05T23:11:41Z

December 7, 2005: A couple of interesting tidbits today. First off, you may have noticed a new link up on the main page above the Comic regarding greeting cards. I am doing this one on my own. I have not sold one lousy thing through Café Press yet, leading me to believe that the initial markup they charge is just too friggin’ high to start with. In order to move anything at all, I’d have to set my markup to about 10 cents per item, and even then, the prices are almost at Pink Floyd Concert prices. At any rate, I’ll be reorganizing the Café Press stuff anyway. They only allow one of each type of item (one coffee mug design, one gray T-shirt, etc.), but I can have as many “stores” as I want. I figure having a different store for each design, then creating my own page here to display the main designs and hotlink to the appropriate store should work. Again, I’ll unfortunately have to eat any real markup, but my main goal is to get people wearing the stuff in public, or bringing it to their office, or whatever.
There will be a 2006 Boritom calendar, but it will probably not be ready in time for Christmas. That will be through CP, since I can’t afford to have them printed locally as they’re ordered. At least, not now when my readership is still too low to justify even a limited run of 100 units. I’ll try to have some sample graphics on the site by the end of the week, showing the cover and a couple of the images inside.

The site itself will be going through a series of redesigns in early 2006. I am hoping to make the site look a bit more professional and cohesive. Also, from this point forward, I am no longer the sole author of this strip. I have brought in a friend of mine, Eileen Heath, to help me write the strip and punch up the funny. There are two other friends I am trying to recruit as well, since I still have plans on creating an animated net series based on the strip. I will post their info if and when they agree to join the staff.
Eileen can boast a rather impressive webcomic pedigree already. She is close friends with James Grant, who writes and draws Flem comics, as well as drawing Two Lumps, and with R. K. Milholland, who is the creator of Something Positive, as well as New Gold Dreams, Midnight Macabre, and Rhymes With Witch. She also worked with me on the original run of Video Difficulties as a writer and actor, as well as appearing in Corn Pone Flicks sketches, including "Twister II: Payback Time," written by the best selling author of “The Bible,” Michael Crichton, and interpolating a superfluous dinosaur… or so they say! Anyhow, she’s a wonderfully talented individual, and I am relieved to have someone helping me flesh out my ideas and punching up the funny!

I am hoping that with the assistance of such talented muses, we can eventually bring Boritom up to the next level! I can't wait to see little plastic Boritoms with tiny phasers, which may cause a choking hazard, and are not reccomended for children under 5 years of age, included with our Happy Meals!

News Update:

2005-08-12T01:35:50Z

August 11, 2005: New stuff to report; First off, “Meet The Festerburgers” is taking off in a big way a storyline. It’s like all those horrible childhood memories of those family reunions my dad’s family used to hold every year are finally paying off. I already have the next 10 strips scripted, and the next 2 after today’s drawn and inked. A subplot about Adam’s band, “The Narrow Way” is coming soon as well, which has been partly co-scripted by my friend disgruntledgrrl, who has been shooting ideas at me for some time now. Some have been used, some are still on the drawing board. In the coming weeks, also look for the return of the French-Canadian Illuminati and the Floating Orb Of Death. Also, the interior of Boritom’s space ship has gotten a bit of an overhaul, as you can see in tomorrow’s strip. The same is going to be done with Milo’s living room, as the plain cream color wall with a sandstone texture is getting downright monotonous. It literally looks like his living room has one chair and a TV and that’s it.
I also would like to show you all a new comic I’ve discovered, called Der Wundervolle Bean! This is a new strip by Paul Milligan, and right now, it’s only available in a series of LiveJournal posts. Hopefully, one day, Paul will get a site for the strip. It’s funny as Hell, and even though he’s only up to about 20 strips, I’m already a fan. I urge you all to check him out!
Finally, how would everyone feel about a storyline that took Bor and company off world for a few weeks? I haven’t really done too much with the sci-fi elements on the strip, and I think it’s about time I had Bor take Milo boldly where no cranky old man has gone before. It’ll also give me a chance to show off Bor’s ship model a bit more. I’ve recently taken more shots of it from various angles, and they look pretty cool. I still need to try a few with better lighting and a plainer background, but so far, so good!
And to repeat our top story of the night: Pope John Paul II, still valiantly holding on in his fight to remain dead! That’s the news, good night and have a pleasant tomorrow.

1st News Update in a While...

2005-07-26T02:21:41Z

July 25, 2005: These next two weeks are going to be a little off… 2 strips on Tuesday and Thursday instead of the usual 3 on M-W-F. No real reason for this, other than the fact that this week and next are going to be Hell on wheels at work. There won’t be as much time to “doodle” at work, and since my hot water heater went out on me this past weekend, I’m going to have to spend at least one glorious evening in a 24-hour Laundromat, if I can find one near my home with no recent bullet holes in the walls.
I was rather perturbed that when I did my tribute to James Doohan last week, some jerk made it a point to send me a message saying, “No event is sacred enough to advertise your comic, huh?” It’s not often I bother to promote Boritom at all on the Live Journal Webcomic community, because, frankly, the only ones who ever seem to speak up about another person’s work are more often than not ready to basically tear one apart at any chance they get. I suspect this is why the R. K. Milhollands, Maritza Campos’s and Jeff Darlingtons of the webcomic world don’t bother with those communities. In fact, the more I think about it, the less productive it is to bury one’s self in a board or community of webcomic artists. The only people to talk to are people who spend more time belittling each other and arguing about what font to use for their dialogue than they do actually producing a comic. Actually, that’s not entirely fair, as I am certain there are artists who are very dedicated to their craft that still have enough time and creativity left to be irritatingly self-righteous assholes… they usually are the ones who don’t date. Now, I will admit that in retrospect, it might have appeared crass for me to use the normal LJ script I normally use for standard updates on my “boritomcomix” community. Frankly, I was in a hurry, and I did not stop to think what the little mini banners for some of the comic sites I list on would represent… not that I should ever have to “censor” myself in any respect.
Ultimately, my point is this; I did not do a comic honoring the death of James Doohan as a crass excuse to draw people to my comic. I didn’t post about it for that reason either, but let’s be honest here, kids; I don’t do a webcomic because I want to remain anonymous, either. So yeah, when I do a special comic to commemorate an event, happy or sad, I’m gonna promote it. Got a problem with it? DON’T CLICK! It’s as simple as that. I refuse to duck away like a scolded puppy with my tail between my legs because some pretentious prick thinks I’m being inappropriate.
As far as Doohan’s death being a “sacred event,” I have to call Bullshit! Doohan was a wonderful guy. I met him when I was a teenager at a Star Trek convention in Denver, and because I was peripherally chummy with one of the con organizers at the time, I had the chance to sit at his table for a while and have a few drinks… Yeah, I was only 19, and it was my one brush with a famous person, so it sticks out in my mind. He was friendly, funny, and not overly fond of William Shatner. He lived a rich, long life, and was adored and admired by millions. Yeah, we’re going to miss him. Yeah, it’s sad that he’s gone. It’s also sad that a Vietnam veteran, who had lost his home years ago, and died of heat exposure last week is gone, but I don’t see anyone holding candle light vigils in his memory.
Frankly, this is not the place to debate the level of sanctity the death of any celebrity or public figure should receive. This is a webcomic, not the mound of ultimate wisdom. Maybe it was crass of me to post about the strip. Y’know what? So be it. I’ve spent almost three years on this strip trying not to offend anyone or ruffle any feathers, despite wanting to bust into clique of top rated webcomics. I’m more than fed up with trying to be polite, timid and respectful. I cherish the memories Doohan’s work gave me, but the man was not a fucking Pope, okay? He lived well, and died at a ripe old age. This isn’t anything like John Lennon getting blown away by some nut case in his prime. It’s an OLD MAN dying of NATURAL CAUSES! Shed a tear or two and get the fuck over it. This is the same false messianic bullshit you trekkies pulled when Roddenberry and DeForest Kelley died, and I’m fucking sick of it! Get over yourselves, and quit trying to enforce your sense of morality and discretion on others. We’re not impressed!
Finally, if the worst thing I did was post about my comic on the instance of the death of a celebrity in the hopes of getting a dozen or so more hits on my site than usual, I don’t see the big crime. It’s not like I’m forcing you to click, and then backing you into a wall to buy a commemorative T-shirt for $35 plus postage and handling! I put up a notice about a specific event in my comic, and used my standard template to do so, which contains links to comic listing websites and my Café Press store. As my former Narrow Way drummer would say, “Fucking Waahhh!” Instead of venting your bile on the little-know comic artist who just rubbed you the wrong way for an infantile, petty reason, why don’t you take your frustration out on someone who really deserves it… like your lesbian mother who refused to breast feed you because you were born with a penis, or you ignorant, macho father who started calling you a faggot on a regular basis because you were more interested in drawing and painting than you were in passing and making touch downs.
In other words, if the day ever comes that I need your opinion on whether or not it’s an appropriate time to promote my own webcomic, I’ll blow my fucking brains out because I’ve sunk about as low as possible.
/End Rant
Anyhow, back to a regular update schedule by Mid-August, I hope!

Monday's Strip and other info

2005-02-22T21:37:33Z

February 21, 2005: A little note about Today's Strip; A couple of you might find this strip a bit over the top, a little bizarre, disturbing, and even vaguely offensive. I just wanted to take a moment to let you all know that Boritom has always intended to be bizarre and occasionally confusing. I know I shouldn't feel the need to justify my sense of humor, but this is the first time I have gone so far into the "shock value" arena. Those who know me know that I have never intended Boritom to be cute or kid-friendly, and recently having had a kid myself has not altered this perspective. If I at some point decide that I want to create something that my daughter, Evelyn, can appreciate before she's 18, I will go back to the drawing board and create something completely divergent, different characters and situations... or I'll just pencil my name on random strips in the daily newspaper.

My point here is that I didn't want to be the next Charles Schultz or Jim Davis, I'm not politically savvy liky Garry Trudeau, and I'm not as good of an artist and satarist as Berke Breathed or Gary Larson. I had a cute little idea that was part Mork & Mindy, part Li'l Abner, and part Clerks/Jay and Silent Bob. Now, I'm starting to infuse a little more influence from some newer favorites, such as Aqua Teen Hunger Force and (obviously) Space Ghost: Coast to Coast, largely because that is what I would like to see as my target audience... talking meat and naively deranged super heroes/talk show hosts.

Sure, strips like this will make some cringe, offend others, and generally make certain CBS never green-lights a Christmas special (can you imagine "It's the Floating Orb Of Death, Charlie Brown" getting aired every year?). In a way, that's the point. I had no intention of drawing SG's genetalia... it was enough to imply it... and make it go "Fwap-Fwap!" I'm struggling right now to help Boritom find it's ultimate voice... to make it consistantly funny and find an audience who will appreciate it. The fact is, the idea for the strip made me laugh. I laughed while I was drawing it, I laughed while I photoshopped it, and I'm laughing now as I post it. Either I'm deranged, or it is funny. Even if only a handful of people get the joke (or will admit to it) and laugh as well... well, then there's just that much more chance that they'll run out and by badly manufactured Boritom schwag at an outrageously inflated price, and make me the wealthy, arrogant ne'r-do-well I deserve to be.

In Other News:
BORITOM will be taking about a week and a half off, from Friday, February 25th through Monday, March 7th. I am going to a new webhost (finally) called SkyFire Hosting and deaprting Yahoo!/Geocities. During this time, www.boritom.com may not function. As a default, you can still visit the site through www.boritom.net until further notice. Once everything is solidified and up to speed, normal strip posting will resume. I apologize for any inconvenience this may cause.

Sincerely,
E. Adam Thomas

Important Announcement:

2005-01-20T20:59:05Z

January 20, 2005: I am going to start going to SW Area comic conventions as often as time and money permit. There is a San Diego ComicCon in July that I am considering attending, and if anyone has any (extremely cheap) suggestions for ways to promote Boritom while I’m there, I would appreciate it. All I can really afford is flyers and stickers, but any other unusual ideas that won’t cost much to realize would be of great help! You can contact me by email and let me know!

Thank you!
E. Adam Thomas

I Cannot help but be amused...

2005-01-16T23:39:31Z

LJ Just forced me to do an Age Verification (for COPPA Compliance) for Boritom's Livejournal...

He's a fucking fictional character.

Brilliant!

Adam is Going to Hell!!!

2004-12-17T07:49:49Z

If you are an extremely loyal fan of Charles M. Schultz with no sense of humor, do not click here!

Check It Out!

2004-12-13T03:16:58Z

Special Holiday Safety Strips throughout the rest of the month!

Boritom Hears a Who?

2004-11-22T01:39:32Z

A special birthday card for a soon-to-return science-fiction icon...

Who was supposed to bring the cake again?

Milostone!

2004-11-17T14:38:42Z

Our 150th Strip!

...and it's actually Funny!!!

Final Chapter of HALLOWEEK!!!!

2004-11-01T08:24:51Z

A New strip EVERY DAY THIS WEEK!

2004-10-25T05:11:03Z

Because this week on

Just happens to be

Wooooooo.... Waaaayyy spooooky!

Big Favor

2004-10-16T05:27:56Z

Okay, I have a huge favor to ask of everyone...

I really want this strip to start taking off, so I need two things from everyone who sees this LJ:

1. Constructive Criticism:
I am trying to find a voice for the strip as a more comedy-oriented strip. I let the last maijor storyline bog it down so hard that I honestly forgot what I originally set out to do. If you have any ideas that could help boost the comedic content, ie; new charater ideas, situations... Hell, places I can look for inspiration... PLEASE, make it so...

2. Talk It Up:
If you could please just tell people about it... Starting Monday, I'm going to be making the strip much more comedy, less storyline oriented. That means that you don't need to have seen yesterday's strip to get the gag in today's strip.

Frankly, it's getting real hard to stay motivated when it's obvious nobody particularly likes it to begin with. I'm willing to make it better, but I need to know that enough people are seeing it to make it worth my while. 5 - 7 hits a day on a webcomic that is over a year old is pathetic, and if this keeps up, I don't see a point in continuing.

C'mon, friends... What do you WANT to see?

Roll 'Em!

2004-09-23T18:55:43Z

Okay, this will more than likely replace the news section for Boritom's page, as it's a little easier to do it here than in the HTML of the website. As soon as I can afford to make this a paid site, I'll embed it in the Boritom site itself.

Actual news to follow shortly. Feel free to discuss anything Boritom related...

Anyone know if Randy does anything different with the S*P LJ?

I'm Back

2004-09-23T18:36:47Z

This is the Boritom LJ... Welcome!

Quick message to let you all know I'm alive.

2004-04-02T02:18:34Z

Adam and I have been in Mosul for a few days now, looking for Linda. Between the American ground troops and the Iraqi soldiers all over the place, all looking so mad they could tear the q'eurjiks off a hungry Garthokk, I can tell you, I'm plenty nervous...

Meanwhile, apparently, Milo has been indulging in some guilty pleasures, from what I hear... His DVD copy of Titanic is almost completely worn out...

I'm not sure what that means, either.

Bor

That sinking feeling...

2004-02-14T12:19:27Z

Well, Milo and I spent the majority of the week trying to help Linda find out where her boss took off to in such a hurry... and then Adam found out...

His reaction was somewhat, well, irrational...

I guess I'm going to get pretty involved in this one...

Gad, you humans are frustrating!

Bor

A few questions

2004-01-14T23:14:05Z

Why does it seem that everyone on your planet carries a cellphone, and yet hates other people who do?

What exactly is a manizzle?

Had anyone thought to just go up to Dick Clark and ask him if he was a Time Lord?

Why is it that you cut the wings off of chickens, season them, and then claim that they came from a Buffalo? Isn't that false advertizing?

Why do you keep letting Jerry Seinfeld appear on TV, when you all seem to agree he's not very funny?

Same question for Colin Quinn, Carrot Top and Howard Stern.

I have more, but I'm still evaluating average human mental capacity, and so far, my results are very uneven... no offence.

Talk to you all again soon...

Boritom

Wow... My first post

2004-01-13T22:33:41Z

First off, let me just say that I am really happy to be here on Earth. You are all so much more friendly and hospitable than the Kyldrian database seems to intimate. So far, I have not been pursued by any governmental nasties like the FBI, the CIA or the writers for the Daily Show with Jon Stewart.

Milo is well. He seems to be kind of distant and unapproachable at times, but I think I can probably get past his gruff exterior and get to know the Real Milo Dorffenboffer.

Adam is worried about his girlfriend, Linda, though. She seems preoccupied with work lately. She seems awfully concerned that her boss is in some kind of trouble. I don't know what's going on there at ISD, but I'm bound to find out.

F.O.O.D. has been laying off the whole "Fear Me" schtick a bit, since it's apparent that nobody will. He's working on his manifesto, whatever that is, right now...

I woiuld caution you all to watch your carbon exhaust levels, though. I don't want to see what happened to the planet Skraelneb happening here.

Ta, for now... hope you all have a wonderful day...

Oh, and whatever you do, don't point the Hubble at sector 3379.0281 for a couple weeks... there's some stuff going on over there that you really don't want to see.